Banana Beer.

I  was all geared up for the meet up. It should happen this evening, a meeting with one good friend of mine. With the freshly brewed banana beer on the table and some chicken wings, listening to Sean Paul, I was glancing the pub door way every minute. From a lost man, today I am sitting here enjoying some girls giving stares at me. My friend arrived ordering for a stronger beer on his way. 

“Then matcha! Why in such a hurry to meet me? You don’t even pick my call otherwise.”
I replied, “Bro! You don’t hang on to 'sensible' friends untill you really need them.”
“Now should l be happy or…” He dragged.
“Be whatever! But listen to me. I am in SOS.”
“Tell me Da. I am all ears.” He came forward, closer to me.
“Matcha! You know how much I love my wife. No!?”
“No!?” he blasted into a loud laugh. This is why I come back to him everytime. He makes it all look so cool. No drama, no cheese, no butter. Just practical.
“Dude pls! I am mad about her. I just made her the fenrervof my world. But recently I have reckoned that she is all back in track with her old boyfriend.”
“Wait whaaaaa? You said things were cool between you guys.” He was sure 
“Ba**** it was. I don’t know, though I love her so much, we have never met a middle ground. By time, I find her so selfish. She just enjoys all my love and attention but chooses him over me. Every. Single. Time.”
“Hey! Affair or something? Are they cheating around?” He got serious.
“Aye! I don’t think so, or I don’t even care. But she just chooses him, may be emotionally…” I tried to explain.
“Man! Wake up! Then what’s your problem? Must be friendship. You gotta chill.” He lost his cool.
“You know me dude! Do I seem like a guy who has problems with a good friendship? Come on. You had known me all my life.”
“That’s exactly why I am shocked. What’s bothering you Da!? “ he put his arms around me. The shitty beer he had had a rotten smell. But I still felt good. Friends arms are always a magic.

Meanwhile, my music app’s shuffle mode chose 'We don’t talk anymore' for some reason.

“Dah! See I love her a lot. I understand friendship and all that. For a fact that I too have a handful of close friends. But when a person you love is emotionally available for someone, misses them around, needs them for every solution of life, too available for them, can’t go a day without them and you become just a 'duty', it kinda hurts matcha! Too small to give up. Too big to digest. This is my problem. And it’s becoming a blame game every day.” I poured out gulping my last sip of beer.
“Matcha! I understand. But can I ask you something. Do you think you can control whatever that’s happening around you? The more you start controlling things around you the more are the chances of you getting disappointed. The only thing you can ever control is you, yourself. When you can’t control the circumstances, control yourself. Don’t be a circumstantial victim, be a wise man. There is a lot of difference.” He was still with his half filled beer mug.
The pub was vibrating with Pharrell Williams’ 'Happy'.
He continued,
“Do you love her ?”
“Yes. A lot.”
“Can you live without her or choose otherwise?”
“Never.”
“You think you are doing a mistake?”
“Not at all.”
“You like being sad like this and doing small talks?”
“No. It’s freaking so annoying.”
“Exactly. Then why should you be sad!?” he paused.
I did not understand a thing but did realise something.
He continued.
“Take control of your life matcha and eventually, yourself. I know for sometime it’s hard but try and shift your focus. This is what people do. Loosing themselves in the name of love. Accept moments as it flows. Be very sure that you don’t let in anything that makes you a victim. Be responsible. Selfless love should only make you stronger and accepting will only liberate you. Love her the way you do. But remember you love her because you love yourself a lot.  Make 'happy' your high. Bingo! And always search happiness in a place you are sure of finding it. Ya!?”

How practical and simple this man thinks. 
This half a page Gyan or the banana beer or those songs, I don’t know what exactly but something made me feel so light and confident. I know for sure shot! I am going to feel this way, forever. 

“Ahh! Cut that overthinking. Now sit and muse later. I know you are going to be better.”
Friends just knew it. Always.
“One more beer?! By the way that red top in third table is staring at you since I came in.” he tickled me.
“Where? Who dah!?” I grinned in shy.
“Matcha aye! As if….”

The rest is history.

Be born!

Sitting in a cafe, all alone with a a-never-before silence she began to muse. okay! 'Two years in this city and the place still looks alien to me. I am never able to find that connection with these streets and buildings. Forget people!'

Scrolling through the call log, she found no one who she could count on. There are a couple of well wishers who always got her back and her parents. She dint want to disturb them for some reason. This phase of her life has been terrible. I don't wanna go ahead and pour out all that happened to  her. Because, I believe life is a battle and everyone has got their own.

She did not escape in any way. May be untill certain point of life she did not take problem as a problem. Hence, she is a way too grown up, child! A little insanity that everyone posses and she was called a psycho!

Well, this all is absolutely unnecessary. I will share with you the outcome of her realisations in the process of recovering a heart wreck. You might feel it's a cliche or boring, or maybe, helpful!

One, never prioritise someone else above you. Everyone has themselves to take care and if they still got your back, well and good. Otherwise, be your first priority. In that way you'll know how to search happiness in yourself. This doesn't make you any selfish or lead you to deem others. Dare to be your own priority.If you don't think you are giving up on your moral values, do anything that makes you happy. And that is the 'daring' I mentioned.

Two, if you are going through a bad phase, at any point of life, remember one thing, it shall be there only for ten days. Hang on. After that, you'll have better problems to solve, get a different perspective or may be you may get happier to get all sad again. Anything stands only for 10 days. Then your current confusion might seem so small to attend.

Third, at any point of life, never take anything that tests your self-respect. We often get geared up to loose our self respect when we are emotionally weak. Never allow that to happen. By doing so you'll eventually loose yourself.

Four, never run back to something that shattered you. A situation, a place or a person, whichever be it. If you cannot avoid being physically engaged, try to mentally move on. Be mindful. In this damn world, where next minute of you breathing is uncertain, never run behind the momentery feelings. Let it engulf you, soak in it and pass on. If it is not making you happy, then move on. It takes a huge effort but liberates you incredibly.

Finally, always remember, every little problem is making you a little stronger. You will never be the same again. If any situation makes you feel the weakest, that is when you are getting stronger. Who doesn't like it after all. Learn the art of enjoying this process.

Also never think you don't love yourself. If you are able to feel self-pity or inferior, you are already loving yourself more than normal. Choose the way you love yourself. Make it constructive. Shine like a queen.

Keep smiling:)