Up in the sky

But strew his ashes to the wind
Whose sword or voice has served mankind,—
And is he dead, whose glorious mind      
Lifts thine on high?—
To live in hearts we leave behind     

   Is not to die. 
(Hallowed ground. Thomas Campbell)


I visited a relative's house after few days of funeral at their place. Seemed like the house has turned normal, after few days of mourning. The one who has left them all seemed to be old but a healthy man. The death was a shock, the age wasn’t. you get that ? coffee was served. Conversations took a boring phase and so that is the time we had to leave. When I lift up my head after wearing my slip-ons, my eyes met the name board of this person who had left for once. I mean he is no way closer to me, just an acquaintance. But something hit me and I sit to write this.

1

We are born, we live and we leave. This is the only most sure of things that we know. The time we live and how we live is all up to uncertain plans and that's the spice. We all have thought at least once by now- what happens to people after they die? We should have thought they will come around as a ghost or probably be playing around in heaven or be reborn somewhere or the most practical thing we will come up with is that they are dead and there is no aftermath. Okay! Leave what happens to them. What happens to us after a person leaves? We get some sweet sadness when ever we think of them. Right? The ratio and flavor of sweet and sad is depending on how close the person is to you and the roll they played in your life. For example, I remember seeing a dead person on the road who freshly met with an accident. I still have this picture in my head. When I think of it I feel a little tinge of sadness, no sweetness. When I think of my dead grandma, I have more of fresh sweetness and little sadness.

I also remember a sweet lady, mother of my good friend. She is one of such headstrong-lovable-mom-determined-focused woman I met. All she wanted was a great life to her daughters. I know those daughters personally and the impact reflects. She owned me a little too. When I went to her funeral, I wasn’t emotionally broken or sad but I started shivering in denying to accept she is gone. I felt like shaking her up and saying “okay now get up and be back to normal”. I was no where emotionally connected to her nor her loss puts a dent in my life but I simply could not accept. If I think of her, there is little sweetness, even little sadness but a lot of void that I could feel.

My dad used to share about a Brahmin lady who cooks so well and was so kind to him in his childhood days. She lived in his neighbourhood. He moved to different place, no contact and I am sure she is too old to be alive anymore. But my dad talks about her at least once in six months, quoting some incident or memory he shares with her.

Now I am sitting in a cafe and when I look around this people busily scuffle, gulp, chat or type, they all have some set of people in their mind for sure, who aren't alive now. May be as close as their mother or as random as a poor old man begging on the street long back. They will surely remember them with some mixture of sweetness and sadness. Whatever happens to a person after she or he is dead and gone, something surely affects their surroundings for sure. The impact they leave. Even the most insignificant person on earth will remain in someones memory. Isn't this beautiful?

The tree they watered once is still alive, the recipe in that piece of paper is still a dread-saver, the story they said still makes sense. Musing about this was a rich yet peaceful feeling. I thought it would be good if I registered it in words.

By the way, have you ever sat gaping at the sky, thinking of the person who left you?

Banana Beer.

I  was all geared up for the meet up. It should happen this evening, a meeting with one good friend of mine. With the freshly brewed banana beer on the table and some chicken wings, listening to Sean Paul, I was glancing the pub door way every minute. From a lost man, today I am sitting here enjoying some girls giving stares at me. My friend arrived ordering for a stronger beer on his way. 

“Then matcha! Why in such a hurry to meet me? You don’t even pick my call otherwise.”
I replied, “Bro! You don’t hang on to 'sensible' friends untill you really need them.”
“Now should l be happy or…” He dragged.
“Be whatever! But listen to me. I am in SOS.”
“Tell me Da. I am all ears.” He came forward, closer to me.
“Matcha! You know how much I love my wife. No!?”
“No!?” he blasted into a loud laugh. This is why I come back to him everytime. He makes it all look so cool. No drama, no cheese, no butter. Just practical.
“Dude pls! I am mad about her. I just made her the fenrervof my world. But recently I have reckoned that she is all back in track with her old boyfriend.”
“Wait whaaaaa? You said things were cool between you guys.” He was sure 
“Ba**** it was. I don’t know, though I love her so much, we have never met a middle ground. By time, I find her so selfish. She just enjoys all my love and attention but chooses him over me. Every. Single. Time.”
“Hey! Affair or something? Are they cheating around?” He got serious.
“Aye! I don’t think so, or I don’t even care. But she just chooses him, may be emotionally…” I tried to explain.
“Man! Wake up! Then what’s your problem? Must be friendship. You gotta chill.” He lost his cool.
“You know me dude! Do I seem like a guy who has problems with a good friendship? Come on. You had known me all my life.”
“That’s exactly why I am shocked. What’s bothering you Da!? “ he put his arms around me. The shitty beer he had had a rotten smell. But I still felt good. Friends arms are always a magic.

Meanwhile, my music app’s shuffle mode chose 'We don’t talk anymore' for some reason.

“Dah! See I love her a lot. I understand friendship and all that. For a fact that I too have a handful of close friends. But when a person you love is emotionally available for someone, misses them around, needs them for every solution of life, too available for them, can’t go a day without them and you become just a 'duty', it kinda hurts matcha! Too small to give up. Too big to digest. This is my problem. And it’s becoming a blame game every day.” I poured out gulping my last sip of beer.
“Matcha! I understand. But can I ask you something. Do you think you can control whatever that’s happening around you? The more you start controlling things around you the more are the chances of you getting disappointed. The only thing you can ever control is you, yourself. When you can’t control the circumstances, control yourself. Don’t be a circumstantial victim, be a wise man. There is a lot of difference.” He was still with his half filled beer mug.
The pub was vibrating with Pharrell Williams’ 'Happy'.
He continued,
“Do you love her ?”
“Yes. A lot.”
“Can you live without her or choose otherwise?”
“Never.”
“You think you are doing a mistake?”
“Not at all.”
“You like being sad like this and doing small talks?”
“No. It’s freaking so annoying.”
“Exactly. Then why should you be sad!?” he paused.
I did not understand a thing but did realise something.
He continued.
“Take control of your life matcha and eventually, yourself. I know for sometime it’s hard but try and shift your focus. This is what people do. Loosing themselves in the name of love. Accept moments as it flows. Be very sure that you don’t let in anything that makes you a victim. Be responsible. Selfless love should only make you stronger and accepting will only liberate you. Love her the way you do. But remember you love her because you love yourself a lot.  Make 'happy' your high. Bingo! And always search happiness in a place you are sure of finding it. Ya!?”

How practical and simple this man thinks. 
This half a page Gyan or the banana beer or those songs, I don’t know what exactly but something made me feel so light and confident. I know for sure shot! I am going to feel this way, forever. 

“Ahh! Cut that overthinking. Now sit and muse later. I know you are going to be better.”
Friends just knew it. Always.
“One more beer?! By the way that red top in third table is staring at you since I came in.” he tickled me.
“Where? Who dah!?” I grinned in shy.
“Matcha aye! As if….”

The rest is history.

Be born!

Sitting in a cafe, all alone with a a-never-before silence she began to muse. okay! 'Two years in this city and the place still looks alien to me. I am never able to find that connection with these streets and buildings. Forget people!'

Scrolling through the call log, she found no one who she could count on. There are a couple of well wishers who always got her back and her parents. She dint want to disturb them for some reason. This phase of her life has been terrible. I don't wanna go ahead and pour out all that happened to  her. Because, I believe life is a battle and everyone has got their own.

She did not escape in any way. May be untill certain point of life she did not take problem as a problem. Hence, she is a way too grown up, child! A little insanity that everyone posses and she was called a psycho!

Well, this all is absolutely unnecessary. I will share with you the outcome of her realisations in the process of recovering a heart wreck. You might feel it's a cliche or boring, or maybe, helpful!

One, never prioritise someone else above you. Everyone has themselves to take care and if they still got your back, well and good. Otherwise, be your first priority. In that way you'll know how to search happiness in yourself. This doesn't make you any selfish or lead you to deem others. Dare to be your own priority.If you don't think you are giving up on your moral values, do anything that makes you happy. And that is the 'daring' I mentioned.

Two, if you are going through a bad phase, at any point of life, remember one thing, it shall be there only for ten days. Hang on. After that, you'll have better problems to solve, get a different perspective or may be you may get happier to get all sad again. Anything stands only for 10 days. Then your current confusion might seem so small to attend.

Third, at any point of life, never take anything that tests your self-respect. We often get geared up to loose our self respect when we are emotionally weak. Never allow that to happen. By doing so you'll eventually loose yourself.

Four, never run back to something that shattered you. A situation, a place or a person, whichever be it. If you cannot avoid being physically engaged, try to mentally move on. Be mindful. In this damn world, where next minute of you breathing is uncertain, never run behind the momentery feelings. Let it engulf you, soak in it and pass on. If it is not making you happy, then move on. It takes a huge effort but liberates you incredibly.

Finally, always remember, every little problem is making you a little stronger. You will never be the same again. If any situation makes you feel the weakest, that is when you are getting stronger. Who doesn't like it after all. Learn the art of enjoying this process.

Also never think you don't love yourself. If you are able to feel self-pity or inferior, you are already loving yourself more than normal. Choose the way you love yourself. Make it constructive. Shine like a queen.

Keep smiling:) 

So is he!!

She said, 'I love you' !
He said, 'I've heard few'.
She said, 'You're handsome' !
He said, 'I'm awesome'.
She said, 'You attract' !
He said, 'Please distract'.
She said, 'Whatta voice' !
He said, 'Try a choice'.
She said, 'Love me back' !
He said, 'You're jack'.
She woke up as fast as bee! 
Memories said, "All 'he' were 'she' " !!!!

A New Day.

As all the days pass ahead,
Calling for a reason.
Bliss and ache toss to lead-
Sun and snow are seasons.
Cuckoos chirp when ray is out
Squeaks again on dusky dot.

Math and past here measure;
Day and date on a note.
Living onto heal pressure;
Smile is too a costly coat!
People say its a new day-
Hope to counter happy way.

Dripping in vibes around,
A word to spell wise arise.
Wish to stand-look astound,
Time's nothing but a dice!
Answers never need a quest,
Asking truly gives the best.

When everything is running old,
Good to call a day anew.
As all the days pass ahead.

The Rainbow Road!!

Hope you are fine and hold a reason to smile today. Along with that pretty cause, I would like to take you through a road I had just explored. If you are with your evening cuppa, its still warm. Well, thats up to you.

Just imagine, you walk on a rainy evening through a road that you have no idea where it takes you to. Mind whipped up with mixture of thoughts and emotions, you decide to take a turn. "Wah"! your confused eyes meet up with a ray of a rainbow in a shade you like. You have no one left to share your surprise.  Right there, your muddled up mind shuts, slams off and you get lost into a bewildered joy. Minutes pass. A magical thing happens in you that firmly determines you to something clear. you get a touch of wisdom.
 

Ahhh…. Fictitious isn’t?? But I am here to share some realistic rays of rainbow, a fiction again though ;). Let me tell you what each shade of my rainbow did to me. Pick your tint and flip in. If you can relate to my shades or create your own, I will be the happiest.

Shades of my rainbow-

• ·        An yellow Book
• ·        Ocean’s Indigo
• ·        lonely day - Violet
• ·        Sky – see – blue
• ·        A green temple
• ·        The alter you – orange
• ·        A deep red sleep 

Yellow  

Book as I knew it, is an addictive art. A book from one’s favorite genre would do millions to the mental harmony. With a mixed up mind we don’t prefer to slip into a book. Our push back chair from within says you to concentrate with effort. But it’s the other way round. When you start with the first few pages in “meh”, you get deluged into it soon without realizing. Your psyche searches the answer for the confusion you encounter. Without popping a ‘beep’ notification, you end up in some decision. Books don’t deceive. Rather they set you up with a wonderful dimension of a new perception .

Indigo

Not all are fortunate to have an ocean to visit when you wish to. most of us may ve to fix up a plan. Beyond all those excuses, watching an ocean afar sitting on the calm shore side, the tide hitting the farthest rock, is a bliss. This magnificent lifeless liquid, across all human understanding has a quality to neutralize our emotions and bring in a lower meniscus in our lips. He he… I mean, it lets you smile. Such a deviation from this profane world that includes you is a mandate to the soul, so pure, lying inside. You will surely pick so much courage from here. A rain would do the same in a lighter manner.

Violet

Science says, lonely times are so much important for a person to know what he requires. That’s true!! Until you meet up yourself without interruption you will never know what your soul needs. Just as your stomach, the inner self needs a feed, a regular feed to keep it healthy. The menu could be checked only at your solitude. Sometimes your soul awaits you pushing up with answers you need. All that you need is a mental blank medium to translate it. this shade of my rainbow is very special because other shades dealt with some physical entity when this is utterly my own prime one. 

Blue


lying on a terrace or a grassy hill slope where you could see nothing but sky and its ingredients is what peace is. Watching farther, may be listening to a best song after a long time, plays tunes in your nerves and nodes. Closing and opening your eyes like a pendulum is a meditation that sobers down all your intense. Your breathing becomes calm, deep and prolonged. The morning sky puts you into your abyss world while the night sky opens a fantastic fancy that swirls you back to the 'naive-  you'. You get an echo that bangs right between your brows. The whole of you, lying unruffled there.

Green


A temple is always filled up with serene yet dense waves. When people step in to pray for their goodness the place is completely filled with positive vibes. If the temple has dilute human crowd, you are much fortunate. You get the absolute clean air to breathe in as the architectural parameters and the plants around contribute to it. Meditate, muse, sit numb for few hours to get that transparency within you.

Orange


Everything in this world undergoes change and it very well needs it. If every case is so, what's up with you??. . If you are usually crazy, behave super dignified for few days. If you are a calm and still, go nutty for the weekend. If you are neutral, choose between any extremes. This does something to your soul just like a branded saloon hours reflects on your skin. But remember to come back to the real, unique 'you' after the break.

Red

There is nothing new I could say about 'how a deep sleep helps you?'. Its enough discussed and explained.It takes you to the dark tranquility and soothes your mood. So when you are quivered, don't forget to toss yourself into hibernation mode. how to cut that thinking horse? start counting..


These are the seven shades of my Rainbow Road that i discovered for myself. For me, to pick any one at a moment is sufficient to escape my routine. Am sure all of you will have such small things for yourself. Explore it and imbibe!!

An essential catalyst to make it possible is to understand and believe one important fact- Your mind and soul is the reflection of what you give them. Its your surroundings and you, the complicated ones. Your psyche is always stable and waits to keep you smiling forever. Enjoy the abundance! :)

P.S: If you feel this as a crap, please quit the page and get back to routine :P Lol... My intention was to show that you have an own Rainbow Road :).

Have a colourful day!!

Morning walk! - Not just physical.

How do you feel about this day?? Hasn't pass yet? good? exuberant? pathetic? Whatever, that has no accord with what continues here. Everyday depends upon you and the answer differs by how you put it. Well, moving to the point, did you take your morning walk (jog does it too..) today?? Excellent. I have nothing new to say about that, yet I wanted to remind you how beautiful a morning walk can make your day.

Hold on! I don't decipher the shape it has added up to your body nor the sweat it litres neither your digestion ability, I am one among you using mirror after my morning walks to make me happy, though.

May be many of you have already experienced but me, I decided for today, not to look at my walk regime with eyes for health and consciousness. I was ready to enjoy a way beyond. The first thing I did was, I unplugged my ears from my headphones. I slowed down my pace of huggy muggy walk and cleared up my ears, eyes and mind to things around.

The first thing gripped my attention was a couple walking by, reasonably old (reason to be followed :P ). I remembered just seeing them daily. Their slang conveyed to me they were possibly brahmins. They were munching gossips on the upcoming marriage of some 'X'. I let my ears open to their funny family principles and innocuous politics, nose-up tact-isms that tickled my ribs yet I managed to veil it. A sudden whim of me, shortly entering a family life gave me a quirky jolt and I soon shut my mind off from that and came back to actual, by the time the couple were far ahead me and I could not hear them anymore.

Then something diverted my attention towards a cliche, ever-quoted reason for joy, watching children playing by. The raucous glee and ignorant innocence is always a bliss to watch. It pulled back my memory lane to the days when I was one among them, jumping high on monkey bars, may be who knows? I would have entertained some aunty passing by. The morning sun rays lightened up the kids so magically hat they looked as angels to me.

Through the lane after a minutes walk, was a small temple near to the compound. The smell of in-scent sticks, camphor, the flavour of prashadh, the aroma of flowers and the bell sound and of course the vibration of early morning prayer, was just a soul soothing minutes that played a king size role in making my day better.

Few minutes later, I realised I could not resist my headphones too. But for a change from rumbling akon and enrique beats, that i use to gear up my walk,I switched on a flute instrumental which was almost an obsolete playlist option. Here was a "wow!" waiting for me. I have no guess when i sat on the wooden chair in the park eyes closed. I went a winged tour aroung the sky and came back. It played tunes through my mind nerves and senses. I felt an addiction that is still lingering in my mind.

When the music stopped I opened my eyes on a butterfly happily swinging in air and I mapped the sky with this tiny cute pointer. Nature had played wonders on its wings. This little fairy din't fail to give me a complex about its beauty and freedom, the two demanding words.

I slowly scanned on everyone out there. Spectrum of people, lives, trees, plants, lamp post, butterflies and every little thing with whom I have started my this day is not ready to give up with anything today. they were are and will be in action. Whatever happens the day will go on. May be the day awaits with surprise, shock, sadness, boredom and so on. Nothing is going to stop them, so am I. The spiritual, philosophical, witty. quirky. dread influence the "observation break" (might be as the one, 'comfort food') had on me was rejuvenating. Luckily it was a holiday and my mind stayed like a peaceful stream the whole day chewing in the impact. :)

Thanks for your patience.

  Have a happy day!! :)

Being happy.......!!!

What it takes to be happy... i mean, to be happy always?? The answer is in one simple line.                      

"Don't forget that you have to be happy".

I liked to share a few ..................... with you. ( I don't call it methods, tips, ways nor any. Take it as what you would like it to be ).

• To be happy is your duty towards life.
• Stop searching reasons to be happy.
• Look at the sky, stretch your arms, take a complete breathe.
• Admire every little things you could, around you. Of course, every good thing is worth admiring.
• Exhilarate for simple things that needs a smile, jump into it deeply. (Emote is up to your choice but exhilarate).
• Any situation that puts you down, gives you a plunging blow, irritates you>>> have an ego towards it. Take a minute to think on stories around you that goes still worser and sigh, palms on your chest. Now snarl back to your situation "I am happy!!".
• Consider your ability of being happy as a pride.

On the whole, JUST BE HAPPY :). Thanks for your patience, gotta go back and be happy. Bye!!

Have a happy life!!

'

I'll tell you something!

So how was life for you so far?? Fairly good? or you made it to be so:) Whatever, I am not writing to tell you some secret, about a new movie nor a gossip. I want to fill you up with something small, short, something very informal and considerably important, atleast to me ;)

I was sitting alone with a lovely novel and a twist in it gave me a sudden fad. We all have crossed our teens, may be few reading this will be in teens. However, we all had possessed a relationship, a friend, love, brother, sister or what it can be to you, obviously out of your family, so far, at some point of your life. I believe yes! No one can move up till here without a close to heart, "mean a world", "once in a life time" relationships. There was, may be there is such a person or people in your life. The matter is not that.

Not all, I guess but a real number of us, would have missed that one special relation once for all due to spectrum of reasons and deals. They dont even exist in our life as a trace or not as the same they were. But the impact of the bruise they left us with is always fresh and flesh. We carry it as a great pain, worth tears.

I will ask you something, dont feel uncertain or weird. I'll let you know the link later. Tell me do you feel hurt or hard when you think of your school or college building?? It will be a "no" for most of us. May be it will bring you tears, but  out of happiness if you are more of an emotional person. Just go back to those lane and feel it. I swear to myself that you'll smile.

So this is what I wanted to tell you. When we were there as students, that lifeless building meant so much to us, we remember each brick of the place.  We have did so much there, it gave us love and laugh and of course few hardships. So did we. But now what's the case? We are hardly being allowed into it, we dont even think to visit the place, its now a lifeless stone. Rather, we never forget to visit our memories and dwell in ti, there the same sand and brick is full of flesh and blood. Is'nt it so? 

I want those lost relationships to be so for me... for us!! They dont visit us, they dont exist in our life book anymore, may be we'll happen to see them sometime, but as a lifeless matter. The memories we shared alone matter to us! they can bring only happiness to us. Even the bad incidents turning up to be a bad memory will give us smile if we intend to understand why it actually was, bad. So that's how we can smile on a broken relationship or any. We need not try to forget it, hear to sad music, post wrecked messages. Happily smile at the memories and keep going.

God kept heart in a safe place so that it can never be hurt, ever!! May the person can refrain them from our life, but they cannot grab the memories. Celebrate and enjoy those memories!!

NB:

• If the one reading this is one among my friends, pls dont guess that this is an output of hard heart due to a broken up boyfriend of mine. Writing needs experience but not possibly the same as the content.

• Those who dont like this approach of dealing pain, feel you have wasted time on it, pls dont curse me, but may be you can scold me and get back to your work.
• Those who already are in this track, my heart respects you!! :)
• Thanks for the patience.

Have a Happy heart!!